He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
