All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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