she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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