Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
