there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
