My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
