Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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