if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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