Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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