yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
