Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Let's get the cat blown out
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
