why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
