so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
