Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
