Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
