thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
