East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You can't special order awesome
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
