we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
