i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
