there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
