Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
