I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
