3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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