I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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