Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
accomplished twins. life is a go
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
