I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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