Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
