ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
