were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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