i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
