he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
