i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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