hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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