Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
