I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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