I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
