I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this just has baby written all over it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize