Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
