im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
