God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
