Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
