O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
