You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
