I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
