he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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