I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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