so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
