some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
