I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
