Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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