Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you never un-have a 4some
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
