i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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