I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
